Thursday, December 28, 2006
I learned your name today. I went out of my way to walk into your office, using some poor excuse as an explanation of business...your eyes were enchanting...they pulled me deep into you, and called me further.
I sat and talked to you today. Your voice was sweet as a summer breeze and I forgot who I was.
I walked with you today. We talked and laughed...about nothing...and everything. Just to hear your voice say my name...that would have been enough.
I took you out today. My mind raced with hope...
I kissed you today. Your lips were soft. I don't remember much after that...I awoke in my bed late that night...my blood burned...
I fell into you today. I haven't walked past the gates of heaven as yet...but if I did, I'd swear I'd be back inside you...I kissed you down your spine...felt your skin, and you took me away...I still burn for you...
I fell in love with you today. It wasn't our friends, our laughing, your smile, or the way you feel when you're wrapped around me. It was the way the sun ran across your face as you closed your eyes while bathing in its rays...
I married you today. Your dress was flowing and your hair caught the breeze. You purified me and made me anew...
I stood in confusion. You walked away from me and in flash I am back on Earth...your skin no longer touching mine. You didn't mean too; you were standing next to me.
I am watching you walk away...I will follow.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Good news is that my friend lived and the suspect's in custody...I'm dissapointed he's alive.
It was a pointed reminder that life can be short. And it was a point that my wife made a connection with...
My wife...what she does to me. I remember the first time I saw her in her entirety...a purple shirt and black skirt...her skin drove me crazy even before I felt it. I just knew.
I arrived home from a day of complete emotional turmoil...if my friend had died, he would have been the forth officer to die in our city in less than eight months. We waited on edge...
She saw it on me...felt it...and as she always does she took me from a place far away, to a place far away with her...a place only she can take me.
With a soft devilish smile, and few words, she kissed me deep and passionately. She brought me to her and bared my skin so it could touch hers.
I fell into her, as I did six years ago, and swam in her passion. Her love purified me. The fear and anger faded from me and all that existed was her.
With her finger tips on my skin and our bodies fused she spent me like only she can...her soft breath and gentle kisses lulled me even further into her as I lay next to her...her fingers still caressing my skin.
She made today ok...and she made me able to face tomorrow...
Saturday, December 09, 2006
for the last time. My story has finally come to an end. The inspiration which fed for years the home-keeping creation of The Self-Claim Poet (as I called my previous self), begun to expire much much earlier. I still don't know why, what to do... Did the volcano died out, or is it just sleeping? I still have general plans of new projects, which some seem very exciting to me... But I cannot push them through my emotional up to the hands... I think that the problem might be the lack of adecuate education, creative techniques... Maybe bad karma...?
Below I present you last two poems from the group of four, which have been last four pieces I have ever written... I think it was about 2002, but they lack dates...
„The poems are hiding”
The poems are hiding
Inside closets like rats
The poems are hiding
Like stocks of clothing
They quail in fear
Down cope in the bedroom
Reek maggots in the corners
And blow off the candles of new poems
“The aspects of defeat”
Mines of uncertainity under the walls of your city
Bombs of uncertainity droped all over your city
Automobiles full of dodgy prisoners,
Taken on uncertain warfares,
Your city full of prisoners…
Picked over in the wardrobe
In fugacious colours
Frigid, possesive, unmannered…
Mines of uncertainty under the ruins of Your city
Bombs of uncertainty on the ruins of Your city
No left prisoners – uncertain
From Your city – into the captive…
Will tremble Earth – Your city will tremble
Tłum. Rafał Gadomski
Those pieces talk for themselfs. Were is war and death, and defeat, there is no space for poetry.. I guess I wasn't to strong but, I have to admit one thing... This writing has changed my life for good, and in positive sence. Only take into consideration the fact that today I'm sharing all those with you, which I wouldn't consider a few weeks ago. One never knows what the future will bring...
I have one advice for all fellas who feel the inspiration. Never be afraid of writing, and write as much as you are able to... Improve you're technique, and sensitivity.
Big thanks to CSOMETIMES... Your invitation was for me a chance to dig into my memory, and revive some old feelings which I thought had felt asleep forever... Thanks C...
And I still don't say the last goodbye... I still owe some stuff!!! While studying economy (have had to change to cultural studies because of statistics and math which kicked me off), I've been spending most of my time in the Warsaw's School of Economics cafeteria, writing short stories. I have four of them, still not translated, and it seems really a huge project to rewrite them into english. But I'm thinking, I'm thinking about it...
So friends, no goodbyes...
I'LL BE BACK!!!
Saturday, December 02, 2006
The keepers of great lies...
The bringers of great destruction,
The harbinger of pestilence and misery...
We pray to thee God...
We pray for your soul
We pray for inspired wisdom on your behalf
We pray for your eyes opened
We pray for ours, shut...
We pray for your containment
We pray for your judgement
We pray for your pain
We pray for your death...
So saith the Lord...
From my forked tongue I will lash at thee
For you shed light on my "truth"
From the tip of my sword I will bleed thee,
For your wisdom weakens me...
My rifle is ready...through my scope I can see thee...
I will be God's hand...
The story of The Self-Claimed Poet is slowly comming to an end. For unknown reasons the source of inspiration within, which have fed his expierience thtoughout the past few years is slowly expiering. Within the two years time, he doesn't write anything. Yet in the 2001 surges another project of his. It is called "Dreams and Expactance", and its clue is to describe some of the dreams he have had and he had considered important throughout his live. The dreams are about nothing, but many people still consider them important, or even being the roadsings for the living. So did The Self-Claimed Poet, and this is the way in which he tells goodbye to some of the major roadsings of his. Not all the poems from this output are translated. This is, again, a selection:
The child of Yours (?)
Have rushed to me this one more time
From the chamber of Yours,
Through the lobby,
That may this one more time get ensured:
tiene los ojos mas bellos del mundo”*
*”The mom of Yours
has the most beautiful eyes in the world”
trans., Rafał Gadomski,
I will stand and await
For You on the crossing,
Hopeful that you will come
And hold out both your hands to me
And we will freeze like this one more moment
May once again
Look straight into each others eyes
Therefore will arrive one day,
When I’ll be there, in
With my own work for my money.
You travel around for your own money.
And you will stay.
Trans. Rafał Gadomski,
Note, that the violent tone of the expieriences written down in the first collection, has vanished completely. This looks very positive to me... And it still looks kinda trivial. Just like the dreams use to be... ;)
I'll be with you the next Saturday, to finally enclose that adventure, with one last article about my past expieriences. See you then, friends...
For continuation see:
Friday, December 01, 2006
Here is a few more pictures from my natures wallpaper site.
Here is the movie An Inconvenient Truth. Watch it while it lasts they have already pulled it from google video once. Please let me know what you think...